First of all, there's the obvious conclusion: the orgasms. Orgasms are totally positive. They release endorphins, so the more you have the better you feel. Its a release of energy, so it can de-stress you and clear your mind. While getting there you're burning calories. Also, if you're having sex you're not doing other less fun/productive things like working or watching TV or committing crimes. Plus, making sure people have orgasms means you care. So you and your partner are engaging in an act that is not entirely selfish. Its considerate. That's the best part about sex. It fosters closeness with another human being. Not necessarily love and fidelity, but affection and intimacy. And, literally, closeness. If you choose, it can also be a way to physically express love.
So why does it get so complicated? The first reason is that people make it completely emotional. Denying your physical needs will create a cycle of guilt. Sex is not bad and should not be punished. Then people use it as a commodity. They withhold it to win a fight, or give it too freely in hopes of receiving love in return. Sex is not a bartering tool. Using it to hurt someone is wrong, and trying to fix other aspects of a relationship with it is futile. The best way to screw up sex is to engage in it without trust. I don't mean epic 'I'll love you forever' trust, the the trust that means a person will treat you and your naked body with gentle affection and decency (or with whatever kind of behavior is agreed upon. Spank away, if that's what you're into.) If you aren't sure that will occur, then a sex act can quickly turn into an emotional debacle. Plus, it'll be harder to have an orgasm.
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