Love, Theoretically (9/24/09, 1am)

(First of all, love when I date things. But seriously, I spend a lot of time thinking about love. Not just in a personal/romantic way, altho if you know me you know that is also true. But often in a political, theoretical way. How it works, functions, exists, how we can use it to better the world in a realistic non-hippy dippy way. This is just a little short entry, I'd love to know what you think...)

New Theory: Mind is not superior to body (ie male is not superior to female.) The concerns of the body are just as important, moral and complicated as those of the mind/soul. A person is not just thoughts and personality, intangible stuff. I am my freckles, my knees, my eyelashes and my knuckles. I am my lips and my nose, my shoulder blades and hip bones. The way I shiver and run, how I type and turn pages; this is all a vital part of my being. The body is just as much the self as the mind, and they are equally valuable.

Love, then, is not wholly invisible. It does not exist only in the space between. Physical affection is not just lust, and it is not any more or less important than emotional/ intellectual bonds. To love someone you have to know their body. And I don't just mean sex. I mean you love how their face changes when you make them laugh, and you love how they stand when they brush their teeth or cook rice. You love how their hair smells after a shower, how their brow furrows with concentration and how their eyes sparkle when they flirt with you. You love to hold their hand, smack their ass, rub their back and trace the line of their collarbone. This stuff is not secondary. Its not lewd or dirty or sexual, but sex isn't lewd or dirty or secondary either. A body is part of what makes up a person, so if you don't know the body you can't love the person. You can't pick and choose with loves, its all or nothing. You have to connect on all levels, or you're fooling yourself. Things of the mind don't count more than the other things.